Parenting coordinator: what one does, what they cannot decide, and how to prepare

What is a parenting coordinator?

A parenting coordinator is a neutral third party who helps separated parents settle disagreements about carrying out their parenting plan, usually after a custody order is in place. Some courts call the role a parent coordinator, and the process parenting coordination.

Florida Statutes section 61.125 defines a parenting coordinator as “an impartial third party appointed by the court or agreed to by the parties whose role is to assist the parties in successfully creating or implementing a parenting plan.” The same section describes parenting coordination as a nonadversarial dispute resolution process that is court ordered or agreed upon by the parties.

In practice, that means the recurring questions, such as a late pickup, a swapped holiday weekend or a summer camp, go to the coordinator first instead of becoming a new motion in front of a judge each time.

What does a parenting coordinator do?

A parenting coordinator helps parents follow the order they already have. What that looks like depends on the state and on the appointment order, which sets out the coordinator’s authority in each case.

Florida says the purpose of parenting coordination is to help parents create or carry out a parenting plan “by providing education, making recommendations, and, with the prior approval of the parents and the court, making limited decisions within the scope of the court’s order of referral.”

North Carolina’s parenting coordinator statute limits the coordinator to matters that help the parents comply with the custody order, resolve issues the order did not specifically address, or sort out terms that are ambiguous or conflicting. The areas it lists include transition time and the method of pickup and delivery, vacations and holidays, child care, bed time, diet, clothing, extracurricular activities, discipline, telephone contact, passport applications and travel, and schedule changes that do not substantially alter the basic time-share agreement.

Pennsylvania’s court rule on parenting coordination has the coordinator first try to resolve an issue by facilitating an agreement between the parents and, if that fails, recommend a resolution to the court. The topics it lists include where and how custodial transitions happen, a temporary change to the schedule for a special event, school issues apart from school selection, extracurricular activities, child care, clothing and possessions, and how the parents exchange information about the child.

A coordinator is not a counselor for the family. North Carolina says the coordinator shall not provide any professional services or counseling to either parent or any of the children. Many of these topics sit in the parenting plan itself, and a parenting plan template shows the sections they usually fall under.

What can’t a parenting coordinator decide?

A parenting coordinator cannot change who has custody. The three states we read draw the line in different words, but each keeps the larger questions with the judge.

In North Carolina, the court “shall retain exclusive jurisdiction to determine fundamental issues of custody, visitation, and support.” The coordinator also refers financial issues related to their decisions back to the parents or their attorneys.

Pennsylvania lists the issues a coordinator may not decide or recommend on:

• a change in legal custody
• a change in primary physical custody
• a change to the court-ordered schedule that reduces or expands a parent’s time, apart from a temporary variation for a special event
• relocation
• financial issues, other than how the coordinator’s own fees are split
• major decisions about the child’s health, education or religion
• anything else the appointing judge limits

In Florida, any decision a coordinator makes must be within the scope of the court’s order of referral, and needs the prior approval of the parents and the court.

When can a court appoint a parenting coordinator?

A court usually appoints a parenting coordinator after a custody order exists and the parents keep disagreeing about how to carry it out. Each state sets its own conditions.

In Florida, a court may appoint one in any case where a judgment or order adopting, establishing or modifying a parenting plan has been sought or entered, on the parents’ agreement, a parent’s motion or the court’s own motion. Domestic violence proceedings under chapter 741 are excluded.

In North Carolina, a court may appoint one at any time in a custody case if both parents consent. Without consent, it may appoint one when it enters a custody order, other than an ex parte order, or a contempt order involving custody, but only if it finds that the case is high-conflict, that the appointment is in the child’s best interests, and that the parents are able to pay. The statute defines a high-conflict case by an ongoing pattern of things such as excessive litigation, anger and distrust, verbal abuse, physical aggression or threats, and difficulty cooperating in the care of the children. If you are in that kind of case, our page on high-conflict custody cases covers how parents keep their own record, and the guide to documenting contempt of a custody order covers the contempt side.

In Pennsylvania, a judge may appoint one after a final custody order, in cases with “repeated or intractable conflict” that affects carrying out the order. The rule adds that “a parenting coordinator should not be appointed in every case,” and it applies only where the judicial district has set up a parenting coordination program.

Some families in this position also move to parallel parenting, where each household runs its own time with as little contact between the parents as the order allows.

Who can be a parenting coordinator?

Parenting coordinators are usually experienced lawyers or mental health professionals with specific training. Each state sets its own minimum, and the table compares the three we read.

Pennsylvania also requires continuing education every two years, including training on domestic violence, and North Carolina courts choose coordinators from a list kept by the district court.

How long does parenting coordination last?

It depends on the state and the order. Pennsylvania sets a specified period that “shall not exceed 12 months.” A parent may ask the court to extend it, or the court may extend it on its own.

North Carolina sets no fixed term. The court may end or change the appointment for good cause, which can include a lack of reasonable progress or a finding that the parents no longer need a coordinator’s help. The Florida section we read sets no term, so check your own order of referral.

How much does a parenting coordinator cost?

The parents usually pay. None of the three state texts we read sets a single price. They describe who sets the rate and how the cost is split.

• Florida: the court decides how fees and costs are split. It may not order parenting coordination without the parents’ consent unless they have the financial ability to pay, and a parent found to be indigent is not ordered into it unless public funds are available or the other parent agrees to pay all of the fees.
• North Carolina: the coordinator is entitled to reasonable compensation and a reasonable retainer. A parent who disputes the fees, or how they are split, can ask the court to review them.
• Pennsylvania: the court sets the hourly rate, and the judge allocates the fees between the parents. The coordinator may reallocate them, with the court’s approval, if one parent caused a disproportionate need for the coordinator’s services. Districts must offer a reduced fee or no fee for low-income parents.

Pennsylvania also says a coordinator should meet with the parents only when one of them asks to resolve an issue, to limit the cost. Bringing one issue at a time, with the dates and facts written down, keeps each request short.

Is what you tell a parenting coordinator confidential?

Often it is not. North Carolina and Pennsylvania both say that communications with a parenting coordinator are not confidential, and Florida’s confidentiality comes with exceptions.

In Pennsylvania, a parent who writes to the coordinator must send a copy to the other parent at the same time, and any documents or recordings given to the coordinator are made available to the other parent for inspection and copying. In North Carolina, the coordinator and the court may not have ex parte communications, and the coordinator may meet with the children.

In Florida, communications during parenting coordination sessions are confidential, subject to a list of exceptions that includes protecting a person from future domestic violence or child abuse. A Florida coordinator must also immediately inform the court if there is reasonable cause to suspect that a child is suffering, or will suffer, abuse, neglect or abandonment.

The safest habit is to write to a coordinator as if the other parent and the judge will read it. Our guide to writing replies for the record covers how to keep a message short, factual and about the child.

What happens if you disagree with a decision?

You can ask the judge to review it, but in the meantime you usually follow it.

In North Carolina, a coordinator’s decision is in writing and is “enforceable as an order of the court.” Either parent may file a motion asking the court to review it, and the parents must comply unless the court finds the decision is not in the child’s best interests or went beyond the coordinator’s authority. The coordinator can also report a parent’s noncompliance to the court. On a verified report, the court may order that parent to show cause why they should not be held in contempt, and the statute provides for an expedited hearing within four weeks of the report.

In Pennsylvania, the coordinator gives both parents notice and a chance to be heard, then sends a written recommendation to the court within two days. The recommendation is “binding on the parties pending the court’s disposition.” A parent who objects must file a petition for a record hearing within five days of being served with it. Otherwise the court may approve it, approve it in part, send it back to the coordinator, or disapprove it.

The Florida section we read does not set out an objection process, so ask your attorney how recommendations and limited decisions are reviewed under your order.

When is parenting coordination not appropriate?

Parenting coordination is treated with caution where there has been domestic violence.

In Florida, if there is a history of domestic violence, the court may not refer the parents to parenting coordination unless both consent. It must first offer each parent the chance to talk to an attorney or a domestic violence advocate, decide whether each parent’s consent was given freely and voluntarily, and order safeguards to protect the people taking part.

In Pennsylvania, a hearing must be held to decide whether appointing a coordinator is appropriate in matters that involve domestic violence, such as where there was abuse within the 36 months before the case was filed. If a coordinator is appointed, safety measures must be in place.

If you are afraid of the other parent, say so to your attorney or a domestic violence advocate before you agree to parenting coordination. If a child is in danger now, contact local emergency services.

Parenting coordinator vs mediator

Mediation aims to help parents reach an agreement, often before or during a custody case. A parenting coordinator usually comes in after a custody order is in place, works with the family over a set period, and in some states can recommend a resolution to the judge or make limited decisions when the parents do not agree.

The two overlap. Florida requires its parenting coordinators to have completed a certified family mediation training program, and Pennsylvania requires ten hours of family mediation training. Our guide to preparing for custody mediation covers what a mediator can and cannot do.

How to prepare for parenting coordination

Parenting coordination works on specific issues, so the best preparation is specific: what happened, on which date, and what the order says.

• Read the appointment order. It sets the coordinator’s authority, the length of the appointment and how fees are split.
• Bring one issue at a time. State what the order says, what happened, and what you are asking for.
• Keep your own record of your own days. Note the pickups you made, the school event you went to, and when you sent each message, written at the time rather than reconstructed later. Our guide to keeping a contemporaneous record of parenting time explains why that matters.
• Assume it will be shared. In Pennsylvania, documents you give the coordinator go to the other parent, and in North Carolina communications are not confidential.
• Keep the focus on the child and the order. A coordinator is working within the order, not judging which parent is the better person.
• Follow decisions while a review is pending. In North Carolina and Pennsylvania, a decision or recommendation applies until the court rules on it.

What this guide does not cover

• Rules in states other than Florida, North Carolina and Pennsylvania. Many states use parenting coordinators under their own statutes or court rules, and some do not use them at all.
• Local court rules and the terms of your own appointment order, which can add to or narrow the state rules.
• Typical fees. No source we read gives a figure, and Pennsylvania sets the rate court by court.
• Cases involving family violence or a child in danger. If a child is at risk now, contact local emergency services or a family law attorney.

Frequently asked questions

References

Law firm pages are cited for the quoted passages only.

• Florida Legislature. (2025). Florida Statutes § 61.125, Parenting coordination. Retrieved from https://www.leg.state.fl.us/
• North Carolina General Assembly. (n.d.). North Carolina General Statutes Chapter 50, Article 5, Parenting Coordinator PDF. Retrieved from https://www.ncleg.gov/
• Supreme Court of Pennsylvania. (n.d.). Pa.R.C.P. 1915.11-1, Parenting Coordination. Retrieved from https://www.pacodeandbulletin.gov/
• Turco Legal, P.C. (2017). What is the Role of a Parenting Coordinator?. Retrieved from https://turcolegal.com/
• BKW Family Law LLC. (2025). What Is Parenting Coordination in Pennsylvania?. Retrieved from https://bkwfamily.com/