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Most custody words describe one of two things: who decides, and where the child lives. Once those two are separate in your head, the rest of the vocabulary falls into place.
“Physical custody refers to living arrangements and parenting schedules. Legal custody refers to important decisions the parties make for the child, like non-emergency medical, educational, or religious upbringing decisions.”
That split is why a parent can share every major decision and still see their child on alternate weekends, or have the child half the week and leave school choices to the other parent. The two halves are set separately, and a record can speak to each: the appointments and school forms you handled, and the days the child was with you. Our guide to what to collect for a custody case covers the records that speak to each half.
The right and responsibility to make the major decisions in a child’s life, usually education, non-emergency health care and religious upbringing. Some states call this decision-making authority or parental responsibility.
See also: the types of custody
Where a child lives and who looks after them day to day. It is set out in the schedule part of an order, and it is what most people mean when they say a child is “with” a parent.
See also: custody schedule examples
Custody that both parents share. Joint legal custody means both have a say in major decisions. Joint physical custody means the child spends substantial time living with each parent, which is not always an even split.
See also: the 50/50 custody schedule
Custody held by one parent. Sole legal custody gives one parent the major decisions; sole physical custody means the child lives mainly with one parent. A parent without sole custody usually still has parenting time.
| Type | What it covers | Joint | Sole |
|---|---|---|---|
| Legal custody | Major decisions, usually education, non-emergency health care and religious upbringing | Both parents have a say in major decisions | One parent makes the major decisions |
| Physical custody | Where the child lives and who looks after them day to day | The child spends substantial time living with each parent, not always an even split | The child lives mainly with one parent |
The parent a child lives with most of the time. The phrase matters most for child support and school records, and in an even schedule it can be decided by a tie-break written into the order.
The parent a child lives with less of the time. Noncustodial does not mean uninvolved: most noncustodial parents have regular parenting time and often share legal custody.
See also: the noncustodial parent
The parent who has done most of a child’s hands-on care, such as meals, school runs, appointments and bedtimes. It describes who did the work, which is not always the same as who has custody under an order.
See also: the primary caretaker
Texas uses its own words. A managing conservator holds the decision-making rights that other states call legal custody, and can be joint or sole. A possessory conservator is a parent with the right to time with the child, roughly what other states call visitation.
“The legal terms used in child custody proceedings are different from the every day terms such as “custody” and “visitation.””
Texas is the clearest case, but not the only one. Illinois, for example, now speaks of allocating parental responsibilities rather than awarding custody. When a guide and your order use different words, read the order. It is the document a judge will hold you to.
These are the words for the calendar: who has the child when, and what happens when the plan changes. Our guide to custody exchange rules and handoffs covers where to meet and what to write down.
The time a child spends in a parent’s care. Many states now use this phrase in place of “visitation”, because it describes a parent caring for their child rather than visiting them.
See also: parenting time percentage
The older word for a parent’s time with a child who lives mainly with the other parent. It is still used in many orders and in some states’ laws, and it means much the same as parenting time.
A written plan setting out the schedule, holidays, how decisions are made and how disagreements are handled. Parents can agree one or a court can set one, and once a judge approves it, it usually becomes part of the custody order.
See also: changing a parenting plan
The court order that sets custody and parenting time. It is binding on both parents until a court changes it, whatever the parents later agree between themselves.
The repeating pattern of which days a child spends with each parent, such as alternating weeks, 2-2-3 or every other weekend. Schedules are often described by their split, such as 50/50 or 70/30.
See also: custody schedule examples · holiday schedules
A clause saying that if a parent cannot care for the child during their own time for more than a set period, they must offer that time to the other parent before using a sitter or relative.
See also: right of first refusal
Parenting time that takes place with another adult present, either a trusted person named in the order or a professional supervisor or center. A court orders it when it has a concern about unsupervised time.
Contact by video call, phone or message, usually on top of in-person time rather than in place of it. It is common when parents live far apart.
See also: virtual visitation
An arrangement where each parent runs their own household with as little direct contact as possible, used when contact between the parents tends to lead to conflict.
See also: parallel parenting
A parent moving with the child far enough to affect the schedule. Many states require notice to the other parent or the court’s permission first, and the distance that counts varies.
See also: reasons a judge will deny relocation
Changing an existing custody order. Most states require a significant change in circumstances since the order was made, and the change must serve the child’s best interests.
See also: custody modification
Beyond the parents, their attorneys and the judge, a custody case can bring in several neutral professionals. Each has a different job, and knowing which is which tells you what they will be looking at. Our guide to what judges look for in custody cases covers what the judge weighs in the end.
A person the court appoints to look into the child’s situation and speak for the child’s best interests. Depending on the state, a guardian ad litem may be an attorney or a trained volunteer.
See also: preparing for a guardian ad litem
A professional, usually a psychologist or psychiatrist, appointed to assess the family and write a report with recommendations for the judge. The judge makes the decision.
See also: preparing for a custody evaluation
A neutral person who helps parents try to reach their own agreement. A mediator does not decide anything, and many courts require mediation before a contested hearing.
See also: preparing for custody mediation
A neutral third party who helps parents work out a parenting time schedule. A judge can order parents to use one, or the parents can hire one themselves. Their powers depend on the state and the appointing order.
These words come up in the filings and hearings themselves. Our guide to preparing for a custody hearing covers what to expect in custody court.
The standard every state uses to decide custody. Each state lists its own factors, which commonly include the child’s needs, each parent’s past care, the child’s ties to home and school, and each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other.
See also: best interest of the child checklist
An order that sets custody and parenting time while a case is still going on. It applies until the final order replaces it, and the arrangement it creates can shape what the final order looks like.
A court proceeding where each side presents evidence (documents, testimony, exhibits) so the judge can make a finding of fact. It is different from a status or case-management conference, where evidence usually is not formally introduced.
See also: the evidentiary hearing
A written statement made under oath, usually signed in front of a notary. Lying in one can be perjury, and that is what gives it weight, not any particular format or stamp.
A written statement signed under penalty of perjury without a notary. Many courts accept a declaration in place of an affidavit; check your court’s rules for which it expects.
See also: writing a declaration
A document or item offered to the court as evidence, such as a message thread, a school record or a printed log. Exhibits are usually numbered or lettered and shared with the other side before a hearing.
See also: organizing evidence for a custody case
A finding that someone has willfully failed to follow a court order. In custody cases it most often concerns missed or withheld parenting time or unpaid support.
See also: documenting contempt of a custody order
Representing yourself in court without an attorney. Some courts say self-represented litigant instead. You are generally held to the same rules of procedure and evidence as an attorney would be.
These are the terms behind how a record of your own days is read. They explain why a short note written on the day tends to carry more weight than a long one written from memory. Our guide to what to put in a custody log covers how often to write it.
Made at or close to the time something happened: a note from today about today, not a reconstruction next month. Courts generally give more weight to records made close to the events they describe.
Showing that a piece of evidence is what you say it is. Under Federal Rule of Evidence 901, that takes evidence sufficient to support a finding that the item is genuine, such as your testimony about when and how you made it.
See also: what holds up in family court
A statement made outside court, offered to prove that what it says is true. Federal Rule of Evidence 802 generally excludes it unless an exception applies, and family courts differ in how strictly they apply the rule.
See also: when a record does not help
The process by which each side can request information and documents from the other before a hearing or trial. A journal you keep about your case may be requested in discovery, which is one reason to keep it factual.
See also: is a custody journal discoverable?
A record where any change made after it is saved leaves a visible trace. It is a narrower and more honest claim than “tamper-proof”: nothing can promise a record can never be altered, only that an alteration would show.
See also: tamper-evident, not tamper-proof
A record of who had control of a piece of evidence, and when, from the moment it was created to the moment it is presented, used to show it was not altered along the way.
A notary confirms who signed a document and that they signed it willingly. It says nothing about whether the facts in the document are true; that is still for the judge to weigh.
Documented keeps a dated, sealed record of your own days with your children. Each entry is time-stamped when it is written and cannot be edited afterwards, so the record is contemporaneous and tamper-evident from the first day, and ready to hand to your attorney if you ever need it.
Legal custody is the right to make major decisions for a child, such as schooling, non-emergency health care and religion. Physical custody is where the child lives day to day. Each can be joint or sole, and they are set separately.
No. Joint legal custody says nothing about the schedule, and joint physical custody means substantial time with each parent, which is often not an exact half. The schedule in your order is what sets the split.
Largely, yes. Many states replaced “visitation” with “parenting time” to describe a parent caring for their child rather than visiting. Your order may use either word.
It is the standard every state uses to decide custody. Each state lists its own factors, such as the child’s needs, each parent’s past care and the child’s stability. This is general information, not legal advice.
Family law is mostly state law, and each legislature chooses its own words. Texas speaks of conservatorship, and Illinois of allocating parental responsibilities. The words in your own order are the ones that apply to you.
We read 4 sources for this guide: two Federal Rules of Evidence and two family law practice glossaries. Every factual claim was checked against the passage it comes from before publishing, and a claim we could not trace to a source was cut or rewritten. Attorney quotes are reproduced word for word from the firm’s own published page. How our guides are written.
Law firm pages are cited for the quoted passages only.
Documented is a private, tamper-evident record of how you show up for your kids. This glossary is general information, not legal advice, and Documented is not a law firm.