How to write a parenting plan: steps, examples and a checklist
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- A parenting plan is the written arrangement for raising your children across two homes: the regular schedule, holidays and vacations, who makes which decisions, how exchanges work, how parents communicate, and how changes and disagreements are handled.
- Check your state’s rules and your court’s form before you draft. Arizona and Washington, for example, list in statute what a plan must contain, and Oregon’s courts publish a form, a guide and age-based schedules.
- Write the plan in the order your weeks run: each child’s needs, how things work now, the regular schedule, holidays, decisions, exchanges, communication, then changes and disputes.
- Vague terms such as “reasonable time” leave the hard questions for later. A clear plan names the day, the time, the place and who drives.
- In Arizona, if parents cannot agree on an element of the plan, the court determines it. Once a court orders a plan, changing it permanently usually means going back to the court, as Oregon’s form spells out.
- What is a parenting plan, and what does writing one involve?
- What does your state require a parenting plan to include?
- How do you write a parenting plan, step by step?
- What do clear parenting plan examples look like?
- What is commonly left out of a parenting plan?
- What should a parenting plan checklist cover?
- How does a court approve a parenting plan, and can you change it?
- How can a record of your own weeks help when you write or revisit a plan?
- Frequently asked questions
What is a parenting plan, and what does writing one involve?
A parenting plan is the written arrangement for how separated parents will care for their children: where the children are and when, how holidays and vacations work, who makes which decisions, how exchanges happen, and what happens when something needs to change. Writing one means turning each of those topics into terms specific enough that both parents, and a judge, read them the same way.
Washington’s statute gives a useful short version of the core. Under RCW 26.09.184, Washington’s permanent parenting plan law, a plan “shall contain provisions for resolution of future disputes between the parents, allocation of decision-making authority, and residential provisions for the child.” A schedule, a way to make decisions and a way to settle disagreements: most of the rest of this guide fills in those three.
The same statute lists the plan’s objectives, and one of them is worth keeping in mind as you write. The plan should provide for the child’s changing needs as the child grows and matures, in a way that minimizes the need for future modifications. A plan written only for the children you have this year will need rewriting sooner.
Our guide to a free printable parenting plan template covers a 12-section form you can fill in. This page is about the decisions behind each section, and how to write them down clearly.
What does your state require a parenting plan to include?
It depends on your state. Some states list the required parts of a parenting plan in statute, and many courts publish their own form, so start with your state’s law and your court’s form before you write anything from scratch.
Arizona is one of the most detailed. Under A.R.S. 25-403.02, Arizona’s parenting plan statute, a plan must include at least eight things, among them a designation of legal decision-making as joint or sole, a practical schedule including holidays and school vacations, a procedure for exchanges including location and responsibility for transportation, a procedure for periodic review of the plan by the parents, and a procedure for parents to communicate about the child, including methods and frequency. Washington’s statute is shorter on process and more specific about decisions and the residential schedule. The table compares the two.
| Topic | Arizona, A.R.S. 25-403.02(C) | Washington, RCW 26.09.184 |
|---|---|---|
| Decisions | Legal decision-making designated as joint or sole, plus each parent’s rights and responsibilities for decisions in areas such as education, health care and religious training | Decision-making on education, health care and religious upbringing allocated to one or both parents; either parent may make emergency decisions about health or safety |
| Schedule | A practical schedule of parenting time, including holidays and school vacations | A residential schedule, including holidays, birthdays of family members, vacations and other special occasions |
| Exchanges | Location and responsibility for transportation, and when an exchange must happen at a safe exchange location | Not listed as a separate item |
| Disputes and changes | A procedure for proposed changes, relocation, disputes and alleged breaches, which may use conciliation services or private counseling | A dispute resolution process other than court action, unless the law precludes or limits it, such as counseling, mediation or arbitration |
| Communication | Methods and frequency of communication between parents about the child | Not listed as a separate item |
| Review | A procedure for periodic review of the plan’s terms by the parents | Not listed as a separate item |
Other states take a form-first approach. The Oregon Judicial Department’s Basic Parenting Plan Guide publishes a master form “with check boxes and simple choices”, schedules for four age groups (birth to 36 months, 3 to 5 years, 6 to 12 years and 13 to 18 years), and a separate form for parents who live more than 60 miles apart. If your court has a form like this, writing your plan mostly means making the choices it asks for, carefully.
Our guide to writing a long-distance parenting plan covers the extra provisions that matter when the two homes are far apart, such as travel costs and longer blocks of time.
How do you write a parenting plan, step by step?
Work from the children outward. Start with what each child needs, write down how your weeks run now, build the regular schedule, add holidays and vacations, decide who makes which decisions, set exchange and communication rules, and finish with how the plan changes and how disagreements are settled.
1. Start with each child’s needs and age
Oregon’s worksheet for parents, How Do I Get Started?, opens with “Think of your children’s needs first.” Its first questions are about the children, such as “How are our children doing right now?” It also reminds parents that each child is unique, so temperament, personality and needs all matter.
Write a short paragraph for each child: age, school, health needs, activities, and anything that affects how they handle time away from either home. Siblings do not always need the same schedule. Oregon’s guide includes an attachment where parents can write a different schedule for a child whose needs differ from their siblings’. In Washington, the court may also consider a child’s cultural heritage and religious beliefs when it establishes a plan.
2. Write down how your weeks run now
The Oregon worksheet gives two plain tips: “Figure out what is working now and continue it in your plan,” and figure out what is not working and do something else. Before you choose a schedule, list the fixed points of an ordinary week: school start and finish times, each parent’s work hours, standing activities, medical appointments, and who usually does the morning and evening routines.
A few weeks of notes are more accurate than memory. They show which days are tight, which handovers are easy, and which arrangements the children settle into.
3. Choose the regular schedule
The regular schedule is the default week, the one that applies whenever no holiday or vacation rule overrides it. Name the days and the times, and say whose time a school day starts and ends in. The Oregon worksheet notes that “A simple schedule is easier for children to adjust to.”
Our guide to common custody schedule examples covers alternating weeks, 2-2-3, 2-2-5-5 and other patterns, with what each looks like across a month.
4. Add holidays, vacations and birthdays
Arizona requires the schedule to include holidays and school vacations. Washington’s residential schedule goes further, covering holidays, birthdays of family members, vacations and other special occasions. For each one, write the start and end time, whether it alternates by odd and even years, and that it takes priority over the regular schedule.
School breaks that are not holidays, such as teacher planning days, are easy to forget. So are the children’s own birthdays and each parent’s.
5. Decide who makes which decisions
Arizona’s plan designates legal decision-making as joint or sole. Washington’s plan allocates decisions about education, health care and religious upbringing to one or both parents, lets each parent make day-to-day decisions while the child is with them, and lets either parent make emergency decisions affecting the child’s health or safety, whatever the plan allocates.
Decision-making and time are separate questions. Arizona’s statute says so directly: “Shared legal decision-making does not necessarily mean equal parenting time.” Our guide to the types of legal and physical custody covers how those two ideas fit together.
6. Set the rules for exchanges and transportation
Arizona requires a procedure for exchanges, including the location and who is responsible for transportation. Write where each exchange happens, at what time, and who drives each way. Oregon’s form also asks parents to set an arrival window in minutes, and says a parent facing an unavoidable delay should contact the other parent immediately.
“As a best practice the plan should be as specific as possible. You may want to include things like pick-up/drop-off times, pick-up/drop-off locations, and the responsibility for providing transportation.”
Our guide to custody exchange rules and locations covers choosing a place, timing and what to do when an exchange runs late.
7. Agree how you will communicate
Arizona asks for a procedure for parents to communicate about the child, including methods and frequency. Choose one channel for scheduling, such as email or a shared calendar, and say how quickly a reply is expected. Then write how the children keep in touch with the parent they are not with that day, and at what times.
8. Plan for changes and disagreements
Washington requires a dispute resolution process other than court action, unless the law precludes or limits one, and says it may include counseling, mediation or arbitration by a specified individual or agency. Agreements reached in counseling or mediation are written down and given to each party. Arizona requires a procedure for proposed changes, relocation, disputes and alleged breaches, plus a procedure for the parents to review the plan from time to time.
Write the steps in order: who raises a change, how much notice is given, and who you go to before either of you files in court. Our guide to preparing for custody mediation covers what that meeting is like and what to bring.
9. Review, sign and file
Read the finished plan as if you were a stranger trying to follow it on a busy Friday. Every sentence that could be read two ways is a future disagreement. Then follow your court’s filing instructions. Oregon’s Basic Parenting Plan form advises parents to consult an attorney or their caseworker before filing their plan with the court.
What do clear parenting plan examples look like?
A clear plan names the day, the time, the place and the person. The examples below are written for this guide to show the difference. They are illustrations, not wording from any court form, and your court may require its own language.
| Topic | Vague | Specific |
|---|---|---|
| Weekends | Parent B has reasonable weekend time. | Parent B has the children from Friday at 5:00 p.m. to Sunday at 6:00 p.m. on the first and third weekends of each month. |
| Holidays | Holidays will be shared. | Thanksgiving is with Parent A in even-numbered years and Parent B in odd-numbered years, from Wednesday at 6:00 p.m. to Friday at 6:00 p.m. |
| Exchanges | Exchanges at a convenient place. | On school days the exchange is at school. On other days it is at the public library, and the parent starting their time drives. |
| Communication | Parents will communicate as needed. | Parents use email for scheduling and reply within 48 hours. The children may call the other parent between 7:00 and 7:30 p.m. |
| Decisions | Parents will decide together. | Both parents must agree on a change of school or non-emergency medical treatment. Either parent may make an emergency decision and tells the other the same day. |
| Changes | Changes as agreed. | A parent proposes a permanent schedule change in writing at least 14 days ahead. If the parents cannot agree, they meet with a mediator before either files in court. |
The specific versions are longer, and that is the point. Oregon’s worksheet says “Your parenting plan can be as detailed as you need it to be,” and adds that consistency and predictability are important for children.
What is commonly left out of a parenting plan?
The details that seem obvious on the day the plan is written: exact times, who drives, days off school that are not holidays, birthdays, travel, how the children reach the other parent, and a way to change the plan without a fight. These are the gaps parents most often mean when they talk about what they wish they had put in their plan.
“Many parents assume they'll work out the details of their parenting plan later. Sometimes that happens. More often than not, though, those missing details become the source of future disagreements. A thoughtful plan gives both parents clear expectations. It gives children the consistency they need.”
Common gaps worth checking for:
- Times, not only days. “Friday to Sunday” leaves out when Friday starts.
- Transportation. Who drives each way, and who pays for longer travel.
- Non-holiday school closures. Planning days, snow days and early dismissals.
- Birthdays. Washington’s statute lists birthdays of family members in the residential schedule.
- Temporary changes. Whether a swap needs to be in writing. Oregon’s form makes parents choose between agreeing verbally and agreeing in writing.
- Relocation. Arizona’s required procedure covers relocation of where a child resides with either parent.
- Periodic review. A set time, such as each summer, to look at whether the plan still fits the children’s ages.
- A different schedule for one child. Useful when siblings are far apart in age.
What should a parenting plan checklist cover?
A checklist should cover every topic your state requires, plus the details that cause most disagreements later. Use this one to check a draft before it is signed, alongside your court’s own form.
- Each child’s name, age and any needs that shape the schedule
- Legal decision-making: joint or sole, and for which areas (education, health care, religious upbringing)
- Who makes day-to-day and emergency decisions
- The regular weekly schedule, with days and times
- Holidays, with start and end times and how they alternate
- School vacations, summer and non-holiday closures
- Birthdays and other special occasions
- Exchange locations, times and who drives
- How late arrivals are handled
- How parents communicate, by which method and how often
- How the children contact the parent they are not with
- How temporary swaps are agreed, verbally or in writing
- Relocation and notice
- How disputes are resolved before court, and by whom
- When the parents review the plan
- Any statement or notice your state requires, such as Arizona’s notification statement
- Signatures and the court’s filing steps
How does a court approve a parenting plan, and can you change it?
Parents usually submit their plan to the court, and a judge decides whether to approve it. The rules for what happens when parents disagree, and for changing a plan later, come from your state.
In Arizona, if the parents cannot agree on a plan, each parent must submit a proposed plan. If they cannot agree on any element of the plan, the court determines that element. Consistent with the child’s best interests, the court adopts a plan that provides for both parents to share legal decision-making and that maximizes their respective parenting time, and it may not prefer a parent’s proposed plan because of the parent’s or child’s gender.
Once a plan is ordered, it is binding. In Washington, failure to comply with a provision may result in a finding of contempt of court. Oregon’s form lets parents make temporary changes if both agree ahead of time, but says “Permanent changes can be made only by applying to the court for a modification. One parent cannot change a court-ordered Parenting Plan on their own.”
Our guide to changing a parenting plan after it is ordered covers modifying by agreement, asking the court, and what to keep a note of in the meantime.
How can a record of your own weeks help when you write or revisit a plan?
Notes kept as the weeks happen show what your schedule really looks like: which exchanges ran on time, which days kept needing a swap, and which routines your children settled into. That is the “what is working now” Oregon’s worksheet asks parents to start from.
Keep it about your own parenting. Write down the school runs, the appointments, the homework evenings and the good weekends as well as the hard ones. When the plan comes up for review, or a change is proposed, you can point to how the weeks actually went instead of reconstructing them from memory.
Documented is a private, sealed record of your own parenting days, the ordinary ones as well as the hard ones, so when you write or revisit a plan you can see how your weeks really ran. Learn how it works →
What this guide does not cover
- Your own state’s required form, wording and filing steps. Arizona, Washington and Oregon are used as examples here, and other states differ.
- Plans where there are safety concerns. Oregon’s worksheet tells parents with serious safety concerns to seek help before writing a plan, and points to its Safety Focused Parenting Plan. Restrictions on a parent’s time are a question for an attorney or advocate.
- Child support. Washington’s dispute process, for example, does not cover disputes about financial support.
- The legal standard for modifying a plan in your state, which varies and is set by your state’s law and courts.
Frequently asked questions
What does a parenting plan look like?
It is a written document, often a court form, with sections for the regular schedule, holidays and vacations, decision-making, exchanges, communication, and how changes and disputes are handled. Oregon’s courts, for example, publish a master form with check boxes and simple choices that parents can customize.
How do you write a parenting plan for court?
Start with your state’s law and your court’s own form, then fill in each section in specific terms: days, times, places and who is responsible. Some states list what a plan must include. Arizona, for example, requires at least eight elements. Follow your court’s filing instructions, and consider having an attorney read it before you file.
Is a parenting plan legally binding?
A plan a court has ordered is binding. In Washington, failure to comply with a provision of a parenting plan may result in a finding of contempt of court. A plan that has not been approved by a court may not carry the same weight, so ask an attorney where you live.
Can you modify a parenting plan without going to court?
It depends on your state and on what the plan says. Oregon’s form, for example, lets parents make temporary changes if both agree ahead of time, but permanent changes can be made only by applying to the court for a modification, and one parent cannot change a court-ordered plan on their own.
What do parents most often wish they had put in their parenting plan?
Usually the details: exact exchange times, who drives, days off school that are not holidays, birthdays, travel, how the children contact the other parent, how swaps are agreed, and a clear process for changes and disagreements.
How we researched this
We read 7 sources for this guide: two state statutes, three publications from a state court system (a guide page, a parent worksheet and a parenting plan form) and two family law practice articles. Every factual claim was checked against the passage it comes from before publishing, and a claim we could not trace to a source was cut. Attorney quotes are reproduced word for word from the firm’s own published page. How our guides are written.
References
Law firm pages are cited for the quoted passages only.
- Arizona State Legislature. (n.d.). A.R.S. 25-403.02: Parenting plans. Retrieved from https://www.azleg.gov/
- Washington State Legislature. (n.d.). RCW 26.09.184: Permanent parenting plan. Retrieved from https://app.leg.wa.gov/
- Oregon Judicial Department. (n.d.). Basic Parenting Plan Guide. Retrieved from https://www.courts.oregon.gov/
- Oregon Judicial Department. (n.d.). How Do I Get Started? Things to consider when creating your parenting plan. Retrieved from https://www.courts.oregon.gov/ PDF
- Oregon Judicial Department. (2008). Basic Parenting Plan (Guide). Retrieved from https://www.courts.oregon.gov/ PDF
- Strickler, Platnick & Hatfield, P.C. (2026). 10 Things You Should Include in Your Parenting Plan. Retrieved from https://www.modernfamilylawfirm.com/
- Lindamood & Robinson, P.C. (2025). What Goes into an Effective Parenting Plan in Texas?. Retrieved from https://www.lawcl.com/
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Documented is a private, tamper-evident record of how you show up for your kids. This article is general information, not legal advice, and Documented is not a law firm.